Only R.Caine and her "Automatic" (The Morganville Vampires #10.5)
"I won’t lie, it was awful, but what was worse was slowly realizing how bad I’d been. How close I’d been to becoming . . . a thing. A senseless monster."
Plot.
An episode from Michael's life, narrated by him.
In Morganville's Blood Bank there is a brand new machine that delivers blood in cans just like Coke. The idea was to always have some blood available for the creatures of the night which they could easily get with a swipe of their special identification card. They would also have a limit which is easily monitored.
Michael was chosen by Amelie to present this new machine and take the first sip of the canned blood. Michael wasn't too thrilled with the idea but with a little of Eve's encouragement he managed to pull it through.
The blood wasn't anything like he thought it will be. It was better. Way better. And it made him more energetic and on edge. It also made him more bloodthirsty. So much so that he abandoned Eve in the middle of a town during the night.
Review.
The idea that the story is told from Michael's perspective is great. I craved to see the story from a vampire's point of view. And Michael is such a sweetheart.
The storyline isn't all that interesting really. And the story itself is very short.
But seeing Michael and his inner turmoil, his doubts, his uncertainty, his cravings and his greatest fear was... amazing. It's incredible to see all those feelings bursting out on scarcely a few pages.
“You really do have a gift.” (Oliver)
I hadn’t even heard him unlock it. I didn’t look up. I knew who it was; that voice was unmistakable. “Once, maybe. You took that away from me,” I said. “I was going somewhere with it. Now I’m going nowhere.”
Oliver is a constant good/evil swing. Once he is the hero who saves the day whereas the other time he is a villain who takes a life. Since he is responsible for Michael's situation, Michael will never forgive him...
„We didn’t anticipate that the formula would trigger such a violent response. In the future, you’ll only receive the unprocessed raw materials.”
“So it’s because I’m young.”
“No,” he said. “It’s because you’re young and you refuse to acknowledge what you are. What it means. What it promises. You’re fighting your condition, and that makes it almost impossible for you to control yourself. You need to admit it to yourself, Michael. You’ll never be human again.”
„Oliver paused for a few seconds, then leaned forward with his elbows braced on his knees, pale hands dangling. “When I was . . . transformed, I thought in the beginning that I could stay with those mortals I loved. It isn’t smart. You should understand this by now. We stay apart for a reason.”
“You stay apart so you don’t feel guilty for doing what it is you do,” I shot back. “I’m not like you. I’ll never be like you. Best of all, I don’t have to be.”
Even though Michael is uncertain of his own future and he still has many fears to deal with, he believes in Eve and him. He believes that love will survive all the obstacles.
„She laughed a little. “Dating? Because news flash, big guy: we’ve been doing it awhile.”
“Being this. Being me. I don’t know who I am anymore.”
She stepped closer, looking up into my eyes. “I know who you are. More importantly, I know what you are,” she said. “And I still love you.“
„...I couldn’t help but think that maybe she did, after all. Know me, and love me.
Maybe, in time, she’d be able to help me understand and love my monster too. Because, in the end, it was always Eve. And always had been.
And I bent close, put my forehead against hers, and whispered, “You make me real.”