I hate, hate, hate the fact how much I love this book !

Iced - Karen Marie Moning


„She's too young. Too innocent.
Too human. For what I'm becoming.“



I hate the main character, Dani "Mega" O'Malley. I hate her guts. I want to kill her until she's deader than dead (her words). Everyone else, as it seems, want her. And I mean everyone. Some want her as a lover/friend, some just want to kill her. 


I hesitated with reading this book as a sort of a sequel to "Fever" Series because this trilogy is narrated by DANI FECKING MEGA O' FECKING MALLEY. She is FOURTEEN and she is the MOST ANNOYING TEENAGER YOU WILL EVER HAVE A CHANCE OF READING ABOUT. And, yes, I said FOURTEEN.


She thinks herself a superhero, the only one who does anything for Dublin and its people. She believes she is a Chosen, God Given, Special, Unique etc. She is the only bad thing in this great book and she is the main heroine. Life sucks.



„There's nothing stupid about me. I am fast and strong, though.“ I preen. „Best of the best. Dani Mega O'Malley. That's what they call me. The Mega. Nobody's got nothing on me.“
„Sure they do. Wisdom. Common sense. The ability to differentiate between a battle worth fighting and the posturing  of adolescent hormones.“
Gah! I don't posture! I don't have to! I'm the real thing, one hundred percent superhero! Ryodan knows just how to get under my skin but I'm not giving him the satisfaction of showing it.“ 



The rest of the characters are fucking amazing. Mindblowing. Awesome. We have Ryodan, the hottest  and the most irresistible man alive (at least I think he is), Christian who is turning Unseelie Prince and his level of hotness rises with his wings and Scottish heritage, Dancer, a genius human with a lot of secrets stored up, Lor, the guy I want to be left alone on a deserted island with, Kat, a new leader of the sidhe-seers who is resisting the Cruce, Cruce, a homicidal maniac that is sinfully delicious... although I found another one I want deader than dead and her name is Jo (fecking stupid bitch).



The walls between Fae and the human world had crashed. Half of the population is gone. The only positive thing is that Mac managed to accomplish her mission alongside Jericho Barrons (mmmm....) and the Sinsar-Dubh has been absorbed by Cruce (V'lan) who was imprisoned beneath the Abby by the Seelie King.


Everything else is in deep shit.


„This is our world now—one that doesn’t know its own rules. And when you’ve got a world that doesn’t know its own rules, everything dark and nasty that was once held in check comes slithering out of the cracks to try to take a shot at whatever it wants. It’s a free-for-all. We’re back to being cavemen. Might is right. Possession is nine-tenths of the law. The bigger and badder you are, the better your odds of surviving. Get a gun or learn to run. Fast. Preferably both.“ 


Food, water and shelter are scarce. People are scared and low in number. Dani is killing Fae as much as she can. She tries to keep the humans safe. The problem is that some people don't want her help and they are more than happy to give themselves to the Fae or simply get involved with them. The greatest concentration of those people and Fae alike is at Chester's. An underground club owned by Ryodan with no fighting and/or killing policy. Ryodan is a mysterious man who has the same ability as Dani, he can freeze frame. And he's better at it than her. And he's deadly as well as deliciously sexy.


For some reason, he wants Dani under his wing and he will do anything to make that happen. Including locking her in a dungeon and threatening to kill her friend Jo. Finally, she gives in and signs a contract (in blood) stating that she will work for him. As a guarantee, her friend will work as a waitress in a club. If she fails to do her duties, her friend dies (if only, gah).


The case Ryodan needs Dani to work on with him is the case of icing certain people, Fae and places. Something or someone is icing certain locations killing everyone close enough and a short while later the scene explodes. Dani needs to help Ryodan see these cases with her special outlook on life.


Of course, this is extremely dangerous and Dani almost dies at one such scene if not for Dancer, her human genius seventeen year old friend. I also need to mention that Christian McKeltar is turning full on Unseelie Prince, not only in physical characteristics but also in psychological. He is going mad, berserk and full Fae with no regard towards human life, for all except for Dani. He thinks she is his and he helps keep her safe (in his own mad way). Ryodan hates that and tries to keep Dani all for himself.



„Dani, Dani, Dani,“ he says like he doesn't even feel it.  „Don't fight me. You don't need to fight me. I'll never hurt you. Not you. You're my brightest shining star.“ (Christian)







I hate her. I want her dead. And I hate the fact she is the main heroine. And that she is merely fourteen in such an adult novel. It doesn't feel right. Everything else seems to work perfectly. If only she was older. That would have been a real beauty...


Not only is she annoying, she is awful. She calls herself MEGA and everything is PEAS IN THE MEGA POD. She keeps saying DUDE for every little thing and she is MASSACRING ENGLISH LANGUAGE. I hate her parts of the conversations.


Also, I have never read about such a conceited teenager. She keeps telling how she is the SMARTEST PERSON alive next to Dancer and that that's a fact. Really, you puny miserable imbecile??? Argh... Dani knows that her hormones are raging and she keeps telling herself how she just needs to ride it out. What teenager admits that his hormones are the reason he is pissed or stubborn or hotheaded? At that moment, you think it's all you. But no. She knows exactly everything that's been happening to her. For the love of all that is holy...


Her obsession with saying DUDE also comes with constant grinning towards Dancer. A new character about whom we know little of is suddenly her soul fecking mate. They share a special bond. They don't even need words. He's the only one who understands her *gag*.







Hot, dreamy, silent, smart, capable, perfect in every way except that he is fucking everything that moves until that godawful Jo who I would shoot, stab, hang, pour acid on and bury the measly remains. He is an immortal of unknown species who wants Dani. For what? Still not clear. Everything is pointing towards wanting her in his bed but she is FOURTEEN and I don't know if he's just biding time or stopping himself on pure will.



„All the sudden Ryodan's standing one inch away from me, hand under my chin, holding my face up to his. „You'll never be just anything. A tsunami can never be „just“ a wave.“
„Get off my chin.“
„I like that about you. Waves are banal. Tsunamis reshape the Earth. Under the right circumstances, even entire civilizations.“
I blink.
„You're going to be one hell of a woman one day, Dani.“




He is making some enticing moves towards her and wants her to like him and want him on some level but she's completely oblivious about it. He keeps saying one day this and that. Are we really supposed to wait for what.... ten more books... until she's old enough? Why make a main heroine fourteen??? And if he does it now, it will be just... wrong...


Ryodan is almost unbeatable, menacing, sexy as hell... and he goes and screws everything with being with Jo. NO NO NO NO NO NO ! JUST PLAIN HIDEOUS AND WRONG !




Goodness, this guy has major issues. He is turning into the things I hate most in these books, an Unseelie Prince, the guys that raped Mac. He is literally starting to look like them, they all look the same. One could oversee that part because of beautiful Scottish accent if not for his state of mind. Or lack thereof.


He became one of them in all, body and soul. He fucks everything he sees, sometimes killing them, sees nothing wrong in any of it. He's only acknowledging Fae life. He's becoming mad and immortal.


I don't know how and why but he fell for Dani. She is his shining star. He keeps on stalking her. And he's trying to get her to marry him. The little bit of reason he's got left is stopping him from taking her sexually. For now, he's trying to wait for her to grow up a little more. But I'm not sure how long that will last.


What I absolutely ravished in was Ryodan's and Christian's reactions when Dani was with one of them. Once, she had Christian's clothes on and appeared like that in Ryodan's office. He almost killed her. Ordered her to immediately cleanse herself of that smell and to change clothes. It was delicious to read :) Christian has the same animosity towards Ryodan.



„Ryodan's more stone-faced than ususal, if that's possible without turning to concrete, and his fangs are out. I look down. Ryodan's dick is as big as mine. „Why the bloody hell don't you wear underwear?“ To an Unseelie Prince, an exposed male dick is a call to battle.
„They chafe. Too small and confining.“
„Fuck you, I say.“




I have no idea what his deal is. He is super smart, speaks a couple of languages and has finished college. He apparently either loves Dani as a friend, but I suspect it's more on the line of romantic thing. Of course she believes that he is only her best friend and he's the best guy alive and that he's the only one who wouldn't put her in a cage. Their repeated conversations go something on the line of...



„I hear you saved my life at the church that night. You're the Shit.“
„No, you are.“
We grin at each other for what feels like an hour of heaven, and just like that everything is okay between us again.“




They are both literally SHIT. I'm glad they see that. XD



All in all

Sorry for the long review. But I'm so angry at the author. This book is extremely interesting, mysterious, sometimes it makes me happy, sometimes it makes ma mad. It has all the ingredients of a perfect book. 


If not for DANI FECKING MEGA FECKING O'FECKING MALLEY. And her FOURTEEN YEARS of age and all those perfect male specimens around her who want to FUCK THAT TEENAGER.


See where I'm going with this? If only she was older and if she actually spoke normal English, it would have been my favourite book since I hated pink hello kitty Mac and her perfect blonde hair in Darkfever. It would have been the perfect combination. But no, why would it be? It had to be this shitty crossover.


If only that little witch turned eighteen between the ending of this book and start of the next which comes out in January 2015. If only. And preferably Jo dies horribly. That would be a perfect world.



„You might be able to trash your way out of a spiderweb, but thrashing in quicksand doesn't work. The harder you fight, the more ground you lose. Struggling merely expedites your inevitable defeat.“ (Ryodan)